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For the first time we consider an actual pet as a pet. In this case it is Goodboy Bindle Featherstone of Quirm, also known as Errol the swamp dragon from the Guards! Guards! Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett (one of our favourite books!).

And why wouldn't you want a badly run alchemical factory the size of a small dog as a pet?

OK sure, he flames backwards and generates sonic booms in flight... but that honestly sounds like an "other people" problem, don't you think?

Remember, whinny if you love dragons!

We probe the Demonic Balrog from Lord of the Rings and its counterpoint the Balor for people who need a pet that's a little on the wild side.

  • Does your Balrog have a pedigree?

  • Is your local city in need of terraforming?

  • Do you need more flaming whips and vorpral swords in your life?

  • Should you store your Balrog in your plumbing?

  • What is a Bogrog?

  • And what is our alignment and challenge rating?

Remember kids, Chaotic Evil is the fun evil.

We consider the Yokai-like monster No Face (from Spirited Away) as a potential pet. All of the standard pet evaluation questions are asked:

  • Exactly how much of an elephant does he need to eat to mimic it?

  • If he eats you, and goes to jail for cryptocurrency fraud are you in jail as well?

  • Is there a No Face drinking game?

  • How many cats can you feed him and should you include laser pointers in his diet?

After all, deep down, what does the metaphorical No Face in all of us really want?

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